Preparing for a POSITIVE, CALM birth

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It does not just come handed to us. We have to plan for it, work for it, prepare for it. Here I share practical, personal advice on what I have learned from experience and from other wise moms when preparing for a positive, calm birth experience.

Everyone wants it

Don’t we all stand in awe when we hear a mother talks about a positive birth experience? Whether we are pregnant or not, we can imagine and live into the whole scene that she describes. And yet, do not believe that it is attainable for us. She probably is just one of the ‘lucky ones’. After all, over 90% of the birth stories we hear are not of the positive kind. Rather scary and intimidating. So how to we approach this feeling inside of yearning for a positive experience but just seems so far out of reach? That is why we are here today. Stick around and I guarentee you will leave encouraged and more prepared for your next birth!

It is possible, BELIEVE IT!

Regardless of all the stories we might hear around us, we do not have to believe that that is all that is possible and that we will just have to be satisfied with the same experience as everyone else. I believe that we as a society have given up on a better outcome. We as women have been steered in a direction and over years our opinions, instincts and desires for a beautiful experience have been squashed because ‘that is just not procedure’. Decisions are made for us, circumstances are influenced by outside unnecessary interventions. And we and our babies are the recipients of all this and we have to live with the consequences and memories (sometimes even trauma) for the rest of our lives.

If you only take one thing from this article today. Please BELIEVE that your next experience can be different! Hold on to that belief with everything inside of you. Fight for it for yourself and for your daughters.

Educate yourself

So the very first step in moving in a direction to preparing for a positive, calm birth experience is EDUCATION.

You will have to do your homework. And that does not mean to ask your service provider, whether it be a Doctor, OB, Midwife, or whatever, a few questions. By all means do that, because you want to know what are their beliefs, strategies and what they will tell you in a ‘crisis situation’ to do. Doing your homework means to take full responsibility of something that was your responsibility all along. Our society has just gotten used to the idea that our health is the the responsibility of our Dr. It is not. It is yours. Step up and do your homework.

Start reading articles, listen to podcasts and reading case studies and books on general health, specific family illnesses perhaps. Anything you feel are applicable to your life circumstances. Making sure that you choose good resources you can trust. Cross check findings and slowly find solid ground to form your own opinions upon. No one will do this for you, you have to take this on yourself and see it as a priority for your and your families health.

Preparing for a positive, calm birth experience educational resources

These are a few resources that has helped me on my journey to take responsibility of my health and of the experiences I want in terms of my own birthing experiences:

All the Way Home: Power for Your Family to Be Its Best

Most recent and very highly recommended:

Husband-Coached Childbirth (Fifth Edition): The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth

Practical advice in preparing for a positive, calm birth experience

Nutrition

Nutrition is one of the very first things to consider when approaching the end of your pregnancy and getting ready for your positive birth.

The book “The first 40 Days” are written specifically for the postpartum period, but has opened my eyes to the importance of nutrition for the body in any circumstance that cause the body to work extra hard, for example recovering after operation, or just recovering after an illness. Going through a stressful time at work or having a family crisis. Being pregnant or has just given birth.

What ever you decide to do in terms of looking after your body now, it will have long term effects. I am just starting to understand the detrimental effect it has on a woman’s entire physiological system when she neglects herself during this tender time of pregnancy and the short time after baby is born.

Here are a few things to strongly consider to add to your regular diet:

Bone broths (of grass fed bones)
Grass fed Butter
Nutrient dense food like seaweed, chia seed, pumpkin seed, flaxseed, black sesame seed, sourdough bread, good quality meat, lots of vegetables.

Supplements

Bone broths
Collagen
Iron
Magnesium
Omega 3
Multi vitamins
Herbal teas like raspberry and nettle. (to prepare the uterus and balance hormones)

Daily habits to prepare for a positive, calm birth experience

Exercise

Walking
Squats with heels down. Take every opportunity to bend your knees rather than your back. If you struggle with sciatica this can also help keep the pain under control.
Up and down ‘tail wags’. This exercise are similar to ‘cat cow’ except it does not over extend, it is not a stretch, it aims to strengthen the back muscles, core and pelvic floor.
Tailor sitting. This stretches the inner thigh muscles that need to be nice and relaxed in preparation for the birth.
Runners position relaxation. Not necessarily an exercise, but it takes concentration and will help you to sleep better and prepare your body for total relaxation during labor, which will help you stay positive and calm for as long as it takes

Personal care

Take a bath or shower every day. No soap as it will dehydrate your skin.
Have a daily moisturising face, breast, stomach, perineum and feet routine. (Would you believe how hard your feet are working in the last few weeks of pregnancy? Give them some love too!)
If your husband is willing ask him for a back rub once a week with your favourite massage oil.

Look after your body, and it will look after you.

Preparing for a positive, calm birth – PLANNING

Home organisation

Organising your fridge, freezer and pantry. Know what is in there and plan to make some meals ahead and put in the freezer to have once baby is born.
Identify any areas in your home that might cause you indirect stress. Sort them out.
Bags packed by 36 weeks pregnant.
Baby clothes, bed sheets and car seat washed and ready by 36 weeks.

Have a birth plan

Have a clear idea what you want for this birth. Make sure your husband are there to step in for you and take over if you are not able to talk or make decisions. Know your rights in a public setting.
Ask your husband to fill out any possible paperwork for the hospital beforehand so he does not need to leave you once you get into the hospital.

Have your support system in place

Is your husband on board with your ideas and desires for a positive, calm birth? Does he know what you expect from him?
Do you have a plan in place for older kids when the time comes, so you do not have to worry about them?
Keep the car always above half full with gas so you do not need to fill it when you are on your way to the hospital or birth centre (maybe you are staying home, but it is still a good idea in case of an emergency)
Be 100% comfortable with your Dr or midwife, make sure you can trust them in any circumstances.

Leave room for the unexpected

We have the responsibility to prepare for things we can foresee. But we can not control what happens to us or our circumstances. True peace only comes from trusting that God is in control of everything that happens to us, and that He will always be there and carry his children through any difficulties that are put on our journey.