A Positive and Calm Birth Story (5th baby)

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We can plan and prepare all we like, but there will always be surprises along the way. Read about our Positive and Calm Birth Story of our 5th baby, with the the surprise of my water breaking (in the car!) for the first time in all my pregnancies.

Our birth plan to have a Positive and Calm Birth

We had the same midwife for all our babies, and planned to go to her birth clinic again when I went into labor. Problem is, her clinic is 2.5hours from us. Luckily I usually know pretty early when I go into labor, but will it be the same this time?

Husband Coached Childbirth

If you were following my stories you would know that my husband and I were reading Husband Coached Childbirth – The Bradley Method, in preparation for this birth. We were hoping to improve even more on our already unmedicated, midwife attended births. Is it really possible to have a pain free birth? I would try my best to find out!

The last days before labor

Our baby’s guess date came and went, not much of a surprise there, as all my babies came after their guess date, my first baby even 2 weeks after. So I was expecting to go over by at least a few days.

I would certainly not mind to go into labor. My body was in constant pain and discomfort, I struggled to walk, I could not carry our toddler anymore, all due to the extra weight I was carrying and the relaxin causing pelvis to be extremely loose and unstable. With a lot of braxton hicks or practice contractions. My body was tired.

One day before I went in to labor. It was Sunday and we went to church. I could not sit because of all the pressure and discomfort I was feeling in my pelvis.

How do I know I am in labor?

Common early labor signs

Loosing of mucous plug
bloody show
diarrhoea
Low back-ache
Pressure in pelvis
Feeling restless
Emotional
Contractions in a pattern
Water breaking

40 weeks and 4 days. I woke up with very faint pink discharge. I noticed mild contractions about 8min apart that would not go away, whether I walked around doing things, or if I would lay down. I gave my midwife a heads-up, but said I am not sure yet. The contractions were barely noticeable and I could still take a very nice and needed nap after lunch. After the nap I noticed my mucous plug starting to come out. By this time I was pretty sure, but did not want to stall labor by leaving too soon for the midwife. So we waited. Around 5 in the afternoon we received very sad news of someone close to us that passed away. There was a shock that went through me, but I immediately forced myself to stay calm, trying to ignore the news as best I can, for now.

30minutes later my water broke.

Water breaking or rupture of membranes

You might have heard different ways of water breaking. One is just a little fluid, the mother wondering “Did I just pee myself or was that my water breaking?”. A few points to help you determine if it really was your water breaking:

The colour should be clear, not yellow.
It should not have any smell, or a slightly salty smell.
Put on a pad and walk around, if the pad fills within an hour, it probably is your water that broke.

The other is an explosion of water and it feels like sooooo much water.

I experienced both for the first time, and it was quite an adventure, and hilarious thinking back.

Is water breaking an emergency?

If your water breaks and it is a clear, fluid, there is no rush to go to the hospital. Medical practitioners at the hospital do prefer baby to be born within 24hours of the water breaking, just to minimise the risk of infection. But there was cases of woman walking a few days with broken waters and baby being born without any problems. If water breaks AFTER contractions was already consistent, usually labor will progress quickly. If labor starts with water breaking it can take a few hours or even days for contractions to start.

IMPORTANT TO TRACK

Baby’s movements
Contractions
Time of water breaking
Try to guess amount
Water must stay clear with no smell
If it is green or brown and smelling bad, GO TO THE HOSPITAL

Officially early labor

It was only a little but enough to be sure I did not pee myself. I let my midwife know.

I called my husband and we quickly decided it was definitely time to go now. We rushed to get the last things packed, car seats removed, covering the backsest with a waterproof sheet, packing a few meals, and coffee for the road. Contractions now came pretty close, about 4min apart, but still mild. In this time I soaked through a pad, confirming it was my water breaking.

For reasons I can not explain and just knew it was a bad idea, I wanted to sit next to my husband in the front seat of our van on a folded towl, at least there was a towl.

Bad. Idea.

We left our house

around 18:30. We just left. It felt like a dam wall that broke inside me. There was water literally STREAMING out of me, soaking my pants. I grabbed an extra towel and just tried to cover the seat as best I could. I was expecting the labor to kick into high gear and I desperately wanted to slow it until we reached the midwife, still 2.5hours away. I searched for some distraction, thought of a book a I brought for this reasons, but it was packed… found a story book in die door of the van and started reading with extreme concentration. Luckily it is written with heavy Scottish and Irish accents, so I had to concentrate very hard to do the pronunciation right.

30minutes later. Another waterfall came…

I realised I can’t sit in the front seat anymore, I need to get on the back seat. If this baby decided to come in the car I needed more space. My husband stopped the car and as I climbed out the water kept pouring out of me, streaming down the side of the highway, my pants soaked, top to bottom. It felt like sooo much water!!! I could not stand my pants any more, I wanted to get them out, right there on the side of the highway. My awesome husband helped me to get back in the van and off we went. Reading outloud with so much concentration as never before. I was not even timing contractions any more, I just tried my best to breathe and read through them.

Arriving at the midwife just after 21:00

I can not tell you feeling of relieve washing over me when we arrived at the midwife. Immediately there to help me, almost certain to find a baby in my arms. We went to the birthing room and it was dimly lit with fairy lights, the perfect setting for a calm birth. I just wanted to get into my Bradley method and relax. I expected contractions to intensify quickly now that we areived and I can relax.

Active labor and practicing the Bradley Method

So the principles to follow with the Bradley Method is to:

Lay on a bed in a certain position and
Relax every single muscle in your body.
Focusing on diaphragmatic breathing (abdominal breathing, not chest breathing). And
Distraction and oxytocin release with your husband talking or reading to you, gently stroking and being with you in a loving way.

So this is what we did and the contractions was about 5min apart and getting stronger, but not painfull. Honestly I can not tell you when active labor started, the contractions was completely bareable the whole time, and never really got much closer together. The midwife said to call her once we needed her, she would just be outside, so she left us alone to do our thing.

As I was laying, relaxing through the contractions, I could feel how my uterus muscle was pushing the baby down, and the baby was moving, trying to find the right position I guess.

By 22:30

I felt a little nausea and thought ‘could this already be transition?’ Because I always get nauseous when transition hit. I also felt a little chilly, another transition sign. So I thought a change in position might be a good idea, maybe the baby just need some movement from me to get to the next stage. So I went and sat on the toilet, empty my bladder and had a bowl movement, that also helped me relax more. I had a few contractions on the toilet and asked my husband to start filling up the bath tub as I wanted a water birth.

Wow how much relief the warm water gives is just indescribable, and this was just the perfect time. I had a contraction and this one definitely felt different. MUCH more pressure down, my hips felt like it is pushed outward and it was really getting difficult to relax.

A numbness washed over me

I hate this part. Just before pushing it feels like I get paralized. I can’t keep my eyes open, and I don’t know where I will get the strength to keep going and to do what is needed. I had another contraction and started feeling pushy. The midwife guided me to a different position so it is safer for baby when he comes out. At this stage I am just like ‘get this baby out of me!’. So my body started pushing and I pushed with it. Next contraction baby crowned and the midwife again guided me when to breathe and not push so she can help me not to tear. Head was born and contraction kept going so I continued to push and baby’s body was also born.

The most amazing feeling

Right when the baby is born the most amazing feeling washes over you. Sooo much relief, it is done. The marathon is finished! I’ve done it! And then you look down and see and feel and hear your precious gift for running this intense marathon.

“We have been praying for you, our precious son!” At first he struggled a bit to take a breath. After some stimulation he finally started wailing, that beautiful sound! He quickly changed colour from purple to a deep pink. The placenta quickly followed, surprising all of us a bit, as it usually takes a few minutes for the placenta to come out. His umbilical cord stop pulsing with a few minutes and was thin and white, the midwife clamped it and my husband always has the honor to cut the cord. All this time our baby was on my chest and we had a good few minutes skin to skin.

Now it was daddy’s turn. My husband took the baby and kept him skin to skin, while the midwife helped me to clean up and get to the bed. She checked me and said there is a minor tear that does not require any stitches. Yay! She put two warm water bottels on my stomach and covered me with a warm blanket. I was shaking crazy, more because of the adrenalin than cold, but the heat really helped. Baby started getting antsy with daddy, he wanted to latch and dad didn’t have anything to latch onto. So I had my baby in my arms again and after a few tries he latched and drank well and strong.

We had a peaceful night and next day of just laying in bed, cuddling the new baby, resting and eating.

Is it possible to plan for a Positive and Calm Birth?

YES!!!

I could not ask for a more perfect, calm and peaceful birth. I am so thankful to God for His mercy and blessing on this birth! How great thou art!

I would definitely recommend getting and reading the Husband Coached Childbirth. I am sure it prepared us to approach this birth a little differently and it helped me be more calm and in control of my body and sensations, and it helped me and my husband to work together knowing our individual roles and it grew our relationship. It was such a special birth and beautiful memories to treasure for the rest of our lives!

Husband-Coached Childbirth (Fifth Edition): The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth